Disputable matters. Yuck.
They had them in the 1st-century church: for example, when it comes to meat sacrificed to idols, to eat or not to eat? As for the Jewish calendar, to observe or not (and which days and why)? As for circumcision…, well, ahem, you get the idea.
And we have them in the 21st-century church: e.g., which music should we sing in church? Should we drink alcohol or not? What constitutes grounds for divorce? How should we educate our kids? What are the spiritual gifts and how (and by whom) are they to be used? And these aren’t even touching on the numerous heated social and political disputes that make their way into the church.
And this past year and half–from the pandemic to protests to the presidential election, local congregations have become virtual factories of disputable matters.
What’s to be done?
Understandably, no one likes it when disputable matters arise. But in a sense–at least according to Paul, we actually should. Here’s why.
For Paul, disputable matters are actually an incredible opportunity to do (at least) two things:
(1) to care for our “opponents”
(2) to clarify our priorities
Caring for our “opponents”
For Paul the single most important guide in navigating disputable matters is love–a love that manifests itself in the pursuit of corporate edification. Let’s take the example of worship music:
Typically, after a service with mostly hymns, I’ll hear from Hymns-Only Hector about “what a great service that was.” AND I’ll hear from Praise-Song Paula as well–about how the service was disappointing, even “dead.”
But if the royal law of love is observed, after that same service, Hymns-Only Hector will almost certainly come up to me and share his concern for Paula: he knows how much she enjoys praise songs, and so what about her? “Can we incorporate more praise songs in the few next weeks?” Similarly, Praise-Song Paula will give thanks (to God and perhaps even to the church leadership or her husband, Praise-Song Pete) that the service was especially edifying for Hector.
Why would they do this? While they care about their views of worship, they care far more about one another–specifically, for the other’s edification. Further, they see these disputable matters as unique occasions to show their love for those with whom they disagree.
But the opportunity to care for our “opponents” can be sabotaged if we don’t take advantage of a second opportunity that disputable matters present.
Clarifying our priorities
Something important happens when we read Paul’s discussions about disputes over, e.g., eating meat sacrificed to idols: we’re tempted to shake our heads and say, “Meat? They were arguing over meat? For real?! That is so dumb!”
Um, yeah, it kind of is–and that’s the point. But in the heat of the moment, for those Corinthian (and Roman) Christians, the meat issue was ALL THAT MATTERED!! They weren’t the first (or last) Christians to lose sight of what is truly important.
And that’s why disputable matters are such an excellent (perhaps even essential) occasion for recalibrating our priorities. Paul actually has to remind Roman believers that “the Kingdom of God is not matter of eating and drinking, but of…”–how would we finish that statement? Just what is the Kingdom about?
Paul says it’s matter of “righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 14.18). Huh.
Such re-prioritization can feel altogether counter-intuitive–like trying to walk straight after we’ve been spinning around in place for 30 seconds (maybe give it a try after reading this; just don’t be holding any sharp objects). Here are three reasons why it can be counterintuitive for us:
1. In disputes our pride can get in the way, so that “being right” becomes priority #1.
2. If the dispute touches on a specific aspect of our personal stories (e.g., the pain caused by a parent’s alcohol addiction might inform our convictions about Christians drinking alcohol), we may give the disputed matter an unnecessary (if understandable) urgency and priority; further, we may be tempted to believe our “lived experience” gives us an insight that is not only unique and important (which it is) but also authoritative and final (which it isn’t);
3. If the disputed matter is presently a “hot topic” item in the news media (or in our theological tradition), it’s easy simply to assume it has the priority that a pundit, politician, or professor claims it has.
Given these three reasons and the relentless subtlety of sin, it’s no surprise that we Christians can gradually lose sight of what’s really important, so that when disputable matters arise, such recalibration can be sorely needed–lest other Christians (or even non-Christians), watching from the benefit of distance, groan, saying, “What? Are they really arguing over THAT?!”
When we clarify our priorities, it unites God’s people and actually enables fruitful (and often sorely needed) discussion about the disputed matter du jour. To return to the example of worship music: If everything is at stake in our “worship wars,” the odds of getting both Hymns-Only Hector and Praise-Song Paula to sit down and simply listen to each other are slim to none. But if they truly care for their “opponent” and are willing to clarify their priorities, tensions deflate and needed decisions can be made, decisions that best edify the entire church and enable her to fulfill her mission in the world.
Having given the example of music, I’ll close by simply giving another (more relevant) example of masks. With the CDC’s recent revision of its guidance, the following letter was sent out (by email) to our congregation (and discussed in a subsequent church “family meeting”). The letter calls for both a humble clarification of priorities and a genuine care for our “opponents.”
Dear sisters and brothers,
Per recent CDC (and county) guidance, GSPC leadership will no longer require that masks be worn on Sunday mornings. The guidance calls for masks to still be worn for those not yet vaccinated. Importantly, a person’s medical history is a private matter, so, please, do not ask others whether or not they’ve been vaccinated.
The most important principle to follow here is love. In this situation love calls us to do the following:
(1) adhere to our own personal beliefs on these matters with humility—i.e., provisionally, not proudly;
(2) respect the decisions of others (e.g., to no longer wear a mask or to continue to wear one) with charity and without any judgment;
(3) most importantly, actively care about the edification of our sisters and brothers in the Lord with sacrifice; each of us must ask, “How can I make sure that those who differ from me can participate in the Sunday service without fear, judgment, or hindrance? Am I causing my sister or brother to stumble in any way? Am I being irresponsibly forgetful or irresponsibly fearful?”
(4) actively ask others what their preferences are; don’t assume!
Please, if you decide not to wear a mask, we’d ask you to consider: bring one with you anyway, so that you can readily put it on in order to speak to someone who has one on. Let’s go out of our way to let everyone know that we welcome them!
In sum, what the world sees as an occasion for division is, for the Christian, an opportunity to listen, to learn, and to love.
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact us.
Pastor Bruce
Hope Unbroken 